


White Lilies

by tsumuomi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Dating, Falling In Love, Flowers, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, Mentioned Miya Osamu, Mysophobia, Pining Miya Atsumu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:26:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28380123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsumuomi/pseuds/tsumuomi
Summary: “My grandfather told me white lilies meant 100 years of love,” he said out of the blue.“Just 100 years?” I jokingly said. He sheepishly smiled and replied, “That’s why I’m giving you one everytime we go on a date.”In which the love Sakusa Kiyoomi has for Miya Atsumu grows day by day the same time the lilies in his vase increase everytime they go out together.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Past Sakusa Kiyoomi/Ushijima Wakatoshi - Relationship
Comments: 1
Kudos: 39





	White Lilies

  


  


It was a gloomy day. The sudden downpour causing the people on the streets of Osaka to look for shelter while others remain in the pouring rain. The city lights were becoming blur as my vision was covered with tears rolling down my cheeks. The honking of cars were blocked out by the sound of radio announcing that it will be raining today.

_The weather today seems to feel the same way I do._ I thought as I glanced outside from the café I was in. I took a sip from the cup of coffee I was holding and read the message on my phone one last time before turning it off. Last time I checked, it was 6:15 PM.

  


“Have a slice of blueberry cheesecake,” a waiter said as he placed the plate on the table. He was wearing a black shirt that matched his grey apron. His platinum blonde hair styled sideways that made him looked more mature and how his smile was like the final piece of a puzzle. _Charming._

“I didn’t order this,” I said as I looked at him with a bored expression. _Well, maybe I did_. I guess I didn’t realize I said something other than coffee when I was ordering at the counter and mindlessly paid the bill without checking how much it was.

“It’s on the house,” he replied, sliding the plate in front of me. I stared at the cheesecake then back at him. Did they give free desserts on rainy days?

“I saw that you were alone and seemed lonely so I wanted to cheer up our dear customer,” he explained.

“Oh,” was the only reply I gave. Was I really out of it? He was about to leave and serve a customer when I suddenly blurted out a ‘Thank you.’

He turned around and his smile widened. _He must be having a good day._ I assumed. It’s the total opposite for me today.

“Thank you …” I said again and tried to read the name written on his nametag.

“Atsumu-kun,” I added. The name suits him.

“It’s my pleasure …” He replied and tried to prolong the end to catch my name. It made me smile seeing how playful he was.

“Kiyoomi,” I said.

He looked shocked upon hearing my name and then he chuckled. _Adorable._

“It’s my pleasure, Kiyoomi-kun!” He happily said before continuing his work.

  


Just as I was about to turn on my phone again, a familiar figure went by outside the café. I quickly gathered my things and ran out to follow him. When I stepped outside, I was reminded of the downpour and regretted my actions right away.

“Here, you’ll be needing this,” he offered me an umbrella to which I gratefully accepted after I took out my handkerchief to hold on to it. I ran out of sanitizer. I guess I have to buy some tomorrow.

“Thank you again Atsumu. I owe you one,” I said as I opened the umbrella and followed after the man.

  


I am certain that the man who I just saw was _him._ It’s no doubt that it was him. I ran to the corner of the street and saw that he went inside a shop. I should stay outside and wait for him. It’s time I confront him after everything he’d done.

  


It took 45 minutes before he finally came out the shop and I stood in his way the second he stepped out. He looked stunned seeing me in front of him.

  


“Kiyoomi, what are you doing he-” I cut him off by gripping the collar of his shirt, letting go of the umbrella I was holding. I could feel the people passing by stare at the two of us. I mentally scolded myself for not being able to control my emotions. But before that, I should face this man in front of me.

“You know damn well why I am here!” I yelled at him. I didn’t care if I was soaking under the rain. I was so focused on collecting my thoughts and emotions that I ended up crying. _This was the second time I cried today. Wait. Was it the third?_

“I can explain,” he tried to grab my hands but I harshly slapped them away. How dare he even try to touch me by the same hands that he used on someone else while we were together?

“No, I don’t want to hear it.” I turned away from him and picked up the umbrella I dropped. I tightly held on to it. It was the only thing that kept me grounded from being physical with this man in front of me. I really should thank Atsumu for letting me borrow this.

“Kiyoomi, listen to me,” he grabbed my wrist and made me turn to him.

“No, Wakatoshi. It’s you who should listen. YOU,” I pointed his chest.

“AND I,” and then I pointed at myself.

“… never existed okay?” I said as I sweetly smiled at him. It would be also the last. Before he could continue talking, I ran to the nearest bus stop and took out my phone again. It’s past 7 PM.

  


Thankfully, it took a lot longer for the bus to come by. I had the time to regain my energy and compose myself. _That’s right Kiyoomi. You shouldn’t cry for a man._

I stepped inside the bus as soon as it arrived. It wasn’t crowded to which I was thankful for and took out a handkerchief from my pocket. I laid it on the seat and sat on it. I was about to wear my earphones when I saw Atsumu step inside the bus. I don’t know how and why but I immediately sat up straight and stared at him, hoping he would get the signal that he can sit beside me. Good thing he turned to look where I was sitting and took the seat.

  


“We meet again Omi-kun,” he cheerfully said, placing his backpack on his lap.

“Omi-kun?” I asked. He cheekily grinned at the nickname he just gave me and didn’t reply. We then both sat beside each other in silence. The air around us was awkward. Of course, we didn’t know each other very well so it was reasonable.

We sat there for a while with no one wanting to start the conversation. _Should I say something?_ He was the first one to break the silence between us.

“Are you okay now?” He asked.

“I guess so,” I wasn’t exactly sure of how I was feeling at the moment.

“If you’re up for it, you want to hang out at the arcade?” He suddenly asked.

Why would I hang out with a complete stranger? Is he out of his mind?

“What kind of question is that?”

“I don’t know. I just had the sudden urge to cheer you up.”

“Where is this arcade anyway?” _I can’t believe I’m going to be hanging out with some stranger I met at the coffee shop._

He didn’t reply, instead, he told the bus driver to stop and dragged me out of there.

  


  


  


“Should we use my card or buy tokens instead?” He offered and took out the card from his wallet. So he frequently plays here? I’m shocked to even see an arcade still open during this time. Luckily, it wasn’t that crowded as well.

“Let’s use both,” I took the card from his hand and swiped it on the machine near us. _Oh wow. I guess he frequents here._ Then I froze. I was shocked at myself for not being bothered by suddenly touching Atsumu’s card.

“Well, you do seem like the type to go arcades. How are we going to use this?” I asked him, giving back his card. He just laughed, moving towards the counter. He talked to the guy and handed a few bills and came back to where I was with tokens in hands.

“Just watch and learn, Omi-kun,” he said and lead the way.

  


  


“What should we try first?” He asked.

I checked and looked around the whole place and came to a decision to start with Street Fighter IV.

“Starting off with something brutal huh Omi-kun,” he commented as he swiped the card on the machine.

“I got to get rid of these pent up frustrations,” I said but didn’t play right away.

“Then we’re off to a good start,” he laughed. I didn’t think one could look so lovely while laughing.

“Do you perhaps have some sort of sanitizer or alcohol with you?” I asked him.

“I think so. Samu, my twin brother, always makes me bring one saying how I should sanitize my hands before eating any food being offered to me,” he explained while rummaging through his bag searching for the said item.

“You have a twin brother?” This guy has a twin?

“Yeah, he’s an asshole and eats everything.”

“Sounds like just another version of you,” I commented. He only grinned at my response and took out the spray bottle.

“Here you go, Omi-kun,” he handed me an alcohol spray to which I was thankful for.

“Thanks.” I pressed start and we both took turns while playing the game since Atsumu kept saying I sucked at it.

  


After a couple of games and loads of tickets which we gave away to some kids, we decided to end our day by playing the crane game. There wasn’t a prize I particularly liked but Atsumu seemed to like the Kirby plushie inside the machine. He obviously wasn’t going to admit it so I took the initiative.

  


“Atsumu, I want that Kirby stuffed toy,” I pointed at the machine he was previously looking at. He took the bait and immediately put in some tokens in the machine so he can start playing right away. _Talk about excited._ Minutes after his long attempt and exasperated sighs, I pushed him to the side and replaced his spot.

“What the hell Atsumu. It’s clear that crane games aren’t your forte. Let me do it,” I started to take control of the crane while he was behind me giving instructions to which he wasn’t helping _at all._

“To the left! No! Move a little bit more!”

“Be quiet, Atsumu. I can’t concentrate,” I scolded him.

“Sorry,” he said in a tiny voice and sulked. Okay, I felt guilty for saying that. I should just tell him to keep talking.

“Wait, nevermind. You can be as loud as you want. We’re in an arcade anyway,” I quickly added.

“Okay then. Now back to the game. Your time is running out! Hurry up Omi! I said move to the left!” And now he was back to yelling. It took a couple of tries before I finally got the plushie. I gave it to Atsumu who looked like a kid waiting for his mom to give him candy.

“Thank you Omi-kun. I promise to take care of it!” He then hugged the stuffed toy tightly.

I smiled upon seeing his reaction. _Maybe he isn’t so bad afterall._

  


“That was tiring. I can’t believe we wasted that much money for some lame games,” I muttered after walking out from the arcade. 

“You don’t seem to think they were lame back while we were playing Wonderland Wars. But still, I can’t believe God granted my final wish,” Atsumu said while holding onto the Kirby plushie and staring at it.

“Your wish was a stuffed animal?” I asked him, amused by such a childish wish.

“Are you mocking my wish, Omi-kun?” He was glaring at me.

“No, I just find it childish,” I acted like I didn’t care but it didn’t last for long because he was now standing in front of me.

“If it makes you feel better, you can hug Kirby too,” he offered his plushie to me and I gladly took it.

  


_It’s not so bad of a day today._

Our last hangout led to us exchanging numbers and texting on the phone everyday. He was cocky, everyone could tell by his appearance. On the other hand, he was kind and considerate. I can sense it from the way he types and the topics we talk about. We’ve been seeing each other at the café as well. It took two weeks before we went out to go to the park together.

“The weather is nice today,” I commented, walking inside the park with Atsumu following closely behind me.

“You want some ice cream?” I asked him. Having a sweet treat would be nice to lighten up the mood.

“Sure. Vanilla please. Thank you,” he looked up at me and smiled. He was already sitting on a bench so I was the one who bought it since I was the one who offered. When I came back to give him his ice cream, he was playing with a child who had a mini ball with her.

“Atsumu,” I called out to him as I handed it to him and saw how happy he was accepting it. Apparently, the child ran to her mom because she wanted to eat ice cream as well. We both chuckled at the little girl’s action.

I sat beside him and silently ate my chocolate ice cream, watching the people and children at the park play and enjoy themselves. I was about to talk to Atsumu when I spotted a Golden Retriever among the crowd.

“Atsumu! There’s a dog!” I exclaimed and stood. Atsumu jolted from my sudden reaction and just laughed at me while I approached the said dog.

“Hello baby,” I kneeled on the grass and patted his head. _What a cute and soft dog._ The owner was kind enough to let us play with him and take pictures.

Unfortunately, the owner had to leave early so I didn’t get to play with the dog for long. Atsumu was just there laughing at the sad face I pulled when the dog left.

“I didn’t know you’d be so fond of dogs, Omi-kun,” he commented.

“Well, they’re adorable and much cleaner compared to some humans,” I said as I stood up from the ground. He just hummed at my reply and looked somewhere else.

“Hey Omi, look at the pond,” he pointed to the pond in the opposite direction.

 _Lilies? They’re beautiful._ He took my hand and we checked it out. We sat on the grass near the pond, and silently watched the ducks swimming in it. Atsumu was giggling at the ducks that were crowding his hands. It was a sound I could get used to. We decided to go home when the sun set. It was getting pretty dark.

“The lilies at the park today looked beautiful,” I looked up and saw that the stars were slowly becoming visible in the night sky.

“I got you one,” he took out a lily he has hidden behind his back.

“Is this even allowed?” I asked with worry.

“What?” He shot back.

“Picking flowers in the park,” I reached out for the flower and accepted it. _Lovely._

“It’s just one. I’m sure they won’t mind,” he twirled like it was nothing. I guess it wasn’t just me who needed to relax. He seems to relax today too.

“My grandfather told me white lilies meant 100 years of love,” he said out of the blue.

“Just 100 years?” I jokingly said. He sheepishly smiled and replied, “That’s why I’m giving you one everytime we go on a date.”

“Who says we’re on a date?” I teased him.

“Mean, Omi-kun,” he acted like his heart was broken and faked crying to which I found ridiculous but funny at the same time.

“You’re so dramatic. Are you always like this around other people?”

“Only when I’m with you,” he winked.

I raised my brows at him and lightly pushed him away from me. How can he say such cheesy words? He was now laughing because of my reaction. He bid me goodbye as we took our separate ways.

“Thank you,” I muttered softly before we parted ways.

  


  


The third time we went out together, I decided to watch a movie with him. It was quite a stressful day for me yesterday so I wanted to do something not so energy consuming.

  


“It’s my turn to pay, Atsumu. No buts,” I said with finality. I opened my wallet and pulled out my credit card.

“I’m not complaining. I want caramel popcorn and coke,” he ordered.

“I really assumed you’d put up a fight with me but I guess I was wrong,” I paid for our food and we went inside the theater.

“I never refuse free food,” he said and ate some of his popcorn as we walked inside. We chose to sit at the center since there were only a few people around.

I just hummed as a reply and focused on the big screen. The movie was about to start. It wasn’t really a romantic one but more of a comedy. We just laughed and judged almost every character that appeared on screen. Two hours later, we were out the cinema.

  
“That movie was lame. The guy should have confessed right away then everything could have been fine,” I said. Atsumu was quiet after I made the comment so I faced him.

“What’s the matter?”

“I like you,” he suddenly confessed. I blushed. _What is he saying?_

“That was fast,” I commented like the confession didn’t affect me. I pretended to look in a different direction to avoid embarrassing myself.

“I wasn’t joking,” he frowned.

“I never said you were,” I peeked at his face and saw that his expression lightened up.

“So?” He seems to be waiting for my response.

“I’ll think about it,” I smiled and continued walking ahead. I can hear him celebrate from a distance then heard him running to catch up with me.

“And I shall wait for your response,” he bowed in front of me like those knights in fairytale stories. When he stood, he opened his backpack and was holding something that seemed like a white flower.

“You’re so embarrassing. Wait … Is that a lily? Don’t tell me you stole that from the park.”

“Why would you say that out loud in public?” He closed the distance between us and covered my mouth with his palm. I frowned because of the hand covering my mouth but seeing his almost horrified expression made me calm down a bit.

“Oh shit. I’m sorry,” he quickly withdrew his hand.

“And no, I didn’t steal this. I actually bought this at the flower shop near our home. The wrapper even has a tiny floral foam so the flower doesn’t wilt.” The single white lily was wrapped in a mesh type paper with a white ribbon to it. _It was beautiful._

“I’m shocked how it’s still in perfect condition after you took it out your bag,” I said and took a picture of it. I’m going to put this with the other one in a vase.

“I did my best to not lean nor fold my bag.” Now, it was him who was walking ahead. I wasn’t the type of person who liked bouquets since I don’t know what to do with them but receiving even a single flower was nice. It made my heart warm as I stared at the white lily I was holding. I must have stared for too long since Atsumu was already calling my name from afar.

“You’re so annoying, Atsumu,” I smiled and whispered as I looked at him, who was waving both of his hands in the air and making heart poses. _What a silly guy._

  


  


  


“Where are we going this time?” I asked him. He looked like a puppy so eager to go on a walk. I was curious to where we were going since it incited such a reaction from him.

“The theme park,” he excitedly answered. _Oh, that’s why._

I didn’t particularly like theme parks. They were always so crowded and it doesn’t seem like it’s very clean since it’d be full of people especially kids. I must have been spacing out since Atsumu was now infront of me.

“You don’t like theme parks?” He asked me.

“It doesn’t seem so bad,” I lied. _If it meant making Atsumu happy, I can get through this._

“Glad to know we’re on the same page,” he happily said and gave me something.

“Another lily? Wow, I didn’t know you had a tradition of giving me lilies everytime we go out on a date,” I gratefully accepted it. I suddenly became worried. I have to protect this from all the things we’re about to do tonight. Thankfully, it wasn’t as crowded as we expected. Well, it was technically a school day so everyone’s busy. I’m not complaining though.

As we entered the theme park, it made me feel nostalgic. _Ah, the days where life was a bit happier and fun._

“This time, you pick the rides. I’ve already rode all of them before,” he told me. I looked at each ride in front of us but ended up looking at him. I caught him staring at the Viking and hoped that it was just a coincidence. _No, I am not riding that thing._

“Have you decided already?” He looks excited.

“Why don’t you choose? You said you’ve rode all of them. I’m assuming you know which the good rides are.”

“Hmmmm. Let me think about it.”

“What’s so great about theme parks anyway?” I asked, my anxiety spiking up as each second goes by. Good thing I brought some alcohol and wipes with me.

“I just love the thought of being surrounded by people having a lot of fun,” he said and walked towards the ride I was trying to avoid the most. Seeing his soft expression and eyes sparkle at the ride washed away the anxiety that was slowly building up inside me.

“You’re not wrong,” I mumbled under my breath and kept wishing for him to go towards another ride.

“Let’s start with the Viking!” He cheerfully exclaimed.

“WHAT?!”

_I guess there’s no backing out._

The rides he chose were pretty fun except for that Viking one. I’m never going to ever ride that thing again in my life. _Never again._

“I wish we could come back here and ride those again,” he said as we left the park.

“Which one?”

“Definitely the Viking one,” his expression brightened. _It seems like I’ll be riding that Viking again._

I suddenly remembered the embarrassing thing I did at the Ferris wheel.

“I’m sorry I ruined our Ferris wheel date. I didn’t think I’d actually vomit from being so high up in the air,” I apologized.

“Oh no, it’s okay.” He chuckled.

“That was so embarrassing,” I covered my face but he took my hands and just laughed at me.

“It’s not funny, Tsumu!”

“It’s me who should be apologizing, not you.” He mumbled as he gently rubbed the knuckles of my hand.

“Why would you apologize? You did nothing wrong.”

“I’m sorry for being selfish,” he apologized.

“It was me who insisted that you choose whatever ride you want. You don’t have to worry about me and be sorry about it,” I cupped his face and smiled at him to show him that I was okay and everything was fine.

“Thank you for today, Omi-Omi. I had a lot of fun.” He kissed my right cheek and held up the flower in my hand.

“Let’s take a picture for remembrance,” he said and took out his phone.

That night, I went to bed with a smile tugging on my lips as I slowly fell asleep.

  


  


As the weeks passed by, we both got busier. We still contacted each other. We made sure to call atleast twice a week. We messaged each other everyday. Even after we fought the last time we were together, things were going smoothly. The next time we went on a date, he said he wanted to check out some new books at the bookstore. He didn’t forget to give me a lily because he said it was his way of showing how much he loves me. One by one, he said his love will grow like how much the lilies in my vase keeps getting more and more.

  


When we entered the bookstore, I asked him what did he need the book for and he just replied with a simple ‘nothing’. He still smiled at me and made jokes but he just seems different today. Since we were on different aisles, I decided to check up on him and see what kind of book he was searching for.

“Which book did you get?” I snuck up on him.

“It’s a secret,” he immediately replied. He hid the book behind his back. I tried to take it away from him but to no avail, I was unsuccessful in doing so.

“Why can’t you just tell me?”

“Soon. I’ll soon let you have this book,” he hid the book’s title with his hands and walked to the counter.

“How long will it take for you to finish that book before you’ll give it to me?”

He just shrugged and said, “It depends.”

“Promise?” I raised my hand and showed him my pinky finger. I know it was childish but it gives me that reassurance that the promise isn’t going to be broken.

“A pinky promise Omi, really? What are you, five?” He chuckled but hooked his pinky with mine anyway.

“Stop laughing. I’m serious,” I lightly scolded him.

“I promise,” he replied and took my hand. Maybe I was just overthinking things. He definitely is fine today.

  


Weeks passed and we rarely went out on a date due to our busy lives. I recently got promoted from working as a journalist and Atsumu told me he quit his job a long time ago. I asked him if he ever wanted to meet and thankfully he said yes. He wanted to eat at the café where he previously worked. It wasn’t surprising, really. The café had a good ambiance. The coffee, pastries, and desserts were good. The staff are nice. It’s one of the reasons why I keep coming to the café. Before we entered the café, he gave me another lily. This time I accepted it with no complaints. It’s been long seen we last saw each other.

“How do you like your coffee?” He jokingly asked like he didn’t know what kind of coffee I drink on a daily basis as we stepped into the coffee shop. _It’s the place where we first met._

“Black, Atsumu. I like my coffee black,” I rolled my eyes and went straight to the table I usually occupy whenever I visit the café.

It took a while before he followed me. I think he’s having a chat with his former co-workers and were joking around since it looks like they’re laughing about something they’re talking about. It’s good to see him smile like he used to when we first met. I wonder if everything that has been making him tired this past weeks has ended.

“What are you thinking?” He asked and took the seat parallel to mine.

“I was thinking about you,” I teased him. He looked at me like I had grown another head and after a few seconds his ears turned red. He quickly turned sideways, pretending to look outside.

“Doesn’t that dog look cute?” He tried to change the topic. _Nice attempt, trying to distract me with a dog._

“You’re blushing,” I teased a little bit more. He was about to reply when our orders were served.

“Ah. This blueberry cheesecake surely does bring back memories,” he commented. His reply long forgotten after seeing food on the table. _He surely does love food._

“You should eat more, you’re losing weight,” I placed some of my food on his plate. He stared at me for a few seconds and looked like he was about to cry.

“Is everything alright?” I panicked. I never saw him cry all those months we were together.

“I guess I was touched by the gesture,” he looked down at his plate and smiled at the portion I gave him.

“Thank you Omi,” he smiled so wide that his eyes turned into crescents. _Cute._

“You’re always welcome, you crybaby,” I said as I pinched his cheeks. I swear this man’s cuteness is going to be the death of me.

  


After that, he didn’t message nor call me that much. Even if I knew where he lived, I didn’t want to visit uninvited. Maybe something was wrong and he needed some time and space. There’s nothing for me to worry about because if everything was too much for him, I’m sure he’ll reach out to me.

  


I was about to take a shower so I can go to bed when my phone suddenly rang. _Atsumu was calling._

“Atsumu?” I answered the call.

(Omi-Omi! I’m sorry for not contacting you much these past few weeks. Things were getting pretty hectic and rough. I wanted to make it up to you.) His voice was soft on the other line. He sounds tired.

“It’s okay, Tsumu. I think you should rest.” I was concerned after hearing his voice.

(Please? Just this once. I really want to see you. I missed you.) _I missed you too._

“Fine. Where should we meet?” I asked.

(You don’t have to. I’ll pick you up in 30 minutes.)

“Okay then. I should get ready. Bye Tsumu,” I ended the call before he could reply. I guess there was nothing for me to worry about at all.

  


He exactly arrived at 30 minutes. When I opened the door, he was already standing at the entrance. He was wearing a black long-sleeved polo to which he folded the sleeves up to his elbows matched with white pants. His blonde hair was styled the same way when we first met at the café. On the other hand, I was wearing a white turtleneck sweater paired with cream dress pants.

“You look beautiful as ever, Omi-kun,” he complimented.

“Thank you. You look handsome.”

“I always do.” He’s still full of himself. _Attractive bastard._ I just laughed at his comment and stepped inside the car where he opened the door for me.

The whole ride was silent. He looked very serious while driving so I didn’t want to disturb him driving. Minutes ticked by and all I saw around us was the sea as we drove past the last gasoline station.

_We’re going to the sea. At night. It’s romantic._

He parked the car nearby and we both got off. I didn’t know what to say to him because he still wore that serious expression. I wasn’t used to this side of him. I realized that I should have paid attention more.

We walked side by side at the seashore with our hands intertwined. None of us were willing to speak and break the silence. It was okay though. The silence was comfortable.

It didn’t take long before he let go of my hand. My hand wanted to chase his and keep holding on to them because I’m afraid if I let him go, it’ll become a reality.

He shoved his hands in his pocket and tilted his head up, facing the sky as he closed his eyes. The sound of waves crashing by the shore along with moonlight casting its glow on his face made me feel like I was in a different world. He looked calm and at peace, a look that suited him so well.

  


“You know Omi,” he said, voice soft while still closing his eyes.

“I’ve always been the type to always sacrifice myself for the sake of others,” he added. I was still looking at him from a distance and decided that I should speak as well.

“Like that time you gave your umbrella to me even when we were complete strangers,” I told him and he laughed at my response. It made me laugh along with him.

“Yeah, and I have no regrets because look at us now,” he was still looking at the sky but this time his eyes were open. I smiled at his reply. _I’m so lucky to have met you as well, Atsumu._

“I promised myself this would be the last time I would be sacrificing myself,” he then sighed and turned to me.

“This time, I would be sacrificing for myself,” he said with finality.

“What do you mean?” I was confused.

“It means I’m going to be selfish,” he paused for a while. I waited for him to continue what he was saying.

“Is it selfish of me Omi to want to spend every second of my life with you?” He asked as tears welled up his eyes. _He’s crying._

I hugged him right away and felt him melt into my embrace. I assume things were really hard for him for the past few days for him to breakdown in front of me. My heart broke at the sight of him crying. He deserves the whole world. It’s the world who doesn’t deserve a someone like him.

“Of course not, Tsumu. You deserve to be happy as well.” I pulled back from the hug and wiped his tears away with my fingers. His tears sparkled like the moon’s reflection on the surface of the sea.

He nodded and hugged me tight again. I wasn’t aware how long we were standing there hugging each other but I didn’t mind. This was Atsumu. _I’d do anything for him._

“I forgot to give you the lily for today,” he mumbled. We were still in the same position, hugging each other.

“It’s okay Tsumu, I got a lot of them in a vase at home. I kept every single one you gave me,” I reassured him and patted his back.

“But still, I brought one today,” this time, it was him who pulled away from the hug.

I chuckled, “I didn’t see you carrying any flowers today though.”

“That’s because it’s a different one this time,” he took out something from his pocket.

What does he mean?

“I meant a lily that won’t wither with time,” he opened a tiny box that revealed a silver necklace with a lily pendant.

“Atsumu …” I was speechless.

“Omi, will you be my-” I cut him off by sealing our lips together.

I promised myself to never cry for a man again but Atsumu keeps breaking my walls and found his way to my heart.

“Of course you idiot.”

_That night, we kissed under the moonlight with tears of joy._

This time he didn’t message or called me at all. I was starting to get worried. I made the choice to go visit his place and check up on him. I also bought a bouquet of white lilies to give to him. I bet he’s stressing himself out again. I took the bus and wore my earphones so I can block out the noise from my surroundings. The view outside was nice. Atsumu seems to live in the peaceful part of the city as well. The sight was calming and refreshing.

The ride took almost an hour but I finally arrived at the said place. There were kids running round the place. A little girl saw me and ran up to me hugging my legs. _How can be a child be so adorable?_ I guess she can be an exception from annoying kids.

“You’re so pretty,” she said in her cute voice. I picked her up and squished her cheeks. I couldn’t resist her cuteness.

“Are you Tsum-Tsum’s boyfriend?” She then asked me.

“You know Atsumu?” I asked in return and she nodded.

“He’s my brother-in-law’s brother!”

“Where is he then?”

“He’s still sleeping!” She exclaimed as I put her down. She looked disappointed that Atsumu was still sleeping. _He must be pretty exhausted then._

“Will you take me to him?” I asked her. She grabbed my hand and dragged me to a nearby house. It was nice but there seem to be a lot of people inside.

“What’s the occasion? There seems to be a lot of visitors,” I asked her but she didn’t reply and just focused on taking me there. My heart suddenly felt heavy when I saw what was happening inside.

_It was a funeral._

No, it can’t be. Maybe that’s why he was so tired and busy because he had to take care of someone. That’s why he didn’t have the time to contact me because he was grieving.

But the more I tried to deny everything in my mind, the reality I was facing as I slowly walked to the coffin was becoming clear. One last time, I wanted to tell myself, all of this wasn’t real.

_He was inside. He looked so calm and at peace. A look that I said which suited him so well._

I broke down in front of him and didn’t care about the people who were witnessing my breakdown. How could I be so clueless? How could I have not known when he gave me subtle signs about everything that was going on in his life? I laid the flowers on his coffin and clutched the necklace he gave to me.

  


_“I can’t believe God granted my final wish.”_

_“I’m sorry for being so selfish.”_

_“This time, I would be sacrificing for myself.”_

My chest tightened and my tears never stopped. It was like my whole world shattered and took everything away from me. No, this wasn’t real. This was just a nightmare. I need to wake up.

“You must be Kiyoomi,” a lady that seem to be in her forties approached me. _She looks like Atsumu._ She must be his mother. She offered a handkerchief embroidered with Atsumu’s name. Why is the world so cruel to me?

“Thank you,” I whispered and wiped my tears away. I didn't know what to say so I remained silent.

"It was cancer. We wanted to let him go under chemotherapy but he refused and said he would rather enjoy living a normal life than stay inside a hospital." Tears started rolling down her cheeks as she glanced at her son. It made my heart shatter into pieces.

“He left this book. He told me to give this to you,” She gave me a book. _It was the book he promised to give me._

I accepted it and stared at it for a long time.

“The Amber Spyglass,” I muttered as I read the title. _He already planned everything since the very beginning._

I left the place and walked going home because I just don’t know what to do anymore. Now that I’m paying much more attention to my surroundings, I noticed that I was at the sea that we last saw each other. I had no idea it was this close to his home. _Atsumu, I can’t believe you perfectly planned everything out._

I opened the book and found a pressed white lily with a quote highlighted on the page.

  


_"I will love you forever; whatever happens. Till I die and after I die, and when I find my way out of the land of the dead, I'll drift about forever, all my atoms, till I find you again..."_

  


I couldn’t hold my tears and sobbed at the seashore. I can’t believe this place has become both the happiest and saddest part of my life. I held on tight to the necklace I was wearing.

  


  


  


  


  


  


  
_I love you too, Atsumu._

**Author's Note:**

> I've kept this in the drafts for some time and suddenly decided to post this today. I have so much drafts of my favorite hq ships but I'm not that confident to post it yet. I hope you like it! Let's be mutuals and friends on twitter as well. Follow me @tsumuomi on Twitter!


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